Fatherhood, God's Way!

Affirmation

2010-12-05T07:37:00.000+02:00

Hi Dads

I received this email a few days ago and thought you might enjoy it too... It is one of the most touching stories I have read in a long while, of how a father affirms his child. Read on......

Click here -> The Power of Affirmation

Blessings
Mark

BIG Dissapointments :-(

2010-11-25T17:37:00.000+02:00

Today my son arrived home with a very sad look on his face. His head was hanging low and he was dragging his cricket bag with little enthusiasm. When I asked what was wrong, all I got was "I went out on the first ball".

I had been wrestling with a big decision all day (and most of last night) but at that moment all this was forgotten while I sat and hugged my sad boy. Nothing was said, we just sat together in silence. I said a quiet little prayer for my sad boy.

After a while I went over to the computer and a good friend of mine had written this verse of scripture on his blog - Romans 15:13 - "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to explain this to my son but it certainly gave me encouragement to know that God is with us ALL THE TIME!!!

Blessings
Mark

The "Perfect Parenting Manual"

2010-11-20T10:37:00.000+02:00

The other morning I was listening to Dr. James Dobson on the radio, talking about parenthood.

The core of his message was that there is NO instruction manual on how to be the perfect parent. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on what it means to be a good parent.

I would like to hear some of your thoughts!!!

Blessings
Mark

Frisbee - Blazer?

2010-11-12T17:52:00.000+02:00

When last did you throw a frisbee with your kid's?

A few days ago my son came home with a really cool, red frisbee. We stood on the front lawn throwing it to each other.
During this time of fun I was able to pry an answer out of him as to where he had obtained this "wonderful" piece of plastic aerodynamics.

His answer was not what I had expected. "A friend at school borrowed my blazer and said I could take his frisbee home for a few days."

My next question was quite clinical, and I'm sure one that every parent would have asked. "Why did he need YOUR blazer?" Again the answer was not expected. "Dad.....He left his at home and needed it for a cricket match he was playing that afternoon. Without a blazer he would not have been allowed to play."

I marvelled at the willingness of these young men to lend their possessions to others in order to help them out of a pickle. I certainly have lots to learn from this kind of generousity!!

So dad's, I challenge you to get out the old frisbee and toss it around with your kid's. You will be amazed at what you can learn from them!!

God Bless
Mark

11-11-12...Crack!

2010-10-17T16:00:00.000+02:00

11 Years, 11 Months, 12 Days.

That is how long ot took my son to break his first window. Yep, the inevitable finally happened. It was a perfect shot that propelled a little white golf ball through the skylight window of my daughters bedroom.

I received the call from my wife and the message was simple. "YOUR son has broken his first window,"
I felt a strange sense of pride at this statement. One because he was suddenly MY son and two because he had hit such a perfect shot.

When I arrived home later, his first words to me were; "Dad but it was a sand wedge!". His face was beaming with pride at the perfection of the shot. What could I say to turn this into a life lesson?

In the time I had to digest this information, I was able to relate this event back to how God is full of grace and mercy and how He gives us a second chance. Should I not give my son the same privelege that my heavenly Father has given to me?

I sat my son down and told him that I would give him a second chance this time, provided he helped me repair the window BUT the next time he would not get off so lightly. I pray that he learnt something from this mistake and that he will understand a little better how much God loves him....

It really was an AWESOME shot!!!

Blessings
Mark

DADS - Invest In Your Kids

2009-12-03T19:27:00.003+02:00

I found this awesome reminder and would like to share it with all of you!

http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=cace28bc02aa631f7b88

What do you spend your time on DAD?

God Bless

Mark

Cricket, School, and all that stuff

2009-11-30T18:14:00.000+02:00

On Saturday morning I spent many hours watching my son play his last cricket match at his current school. He had a wonderful game - 7 runs in 12 balls, 1 wicket, and a catch to round off a team-mates hat-trick. He came off the field with a huge smile on his face, and winning the match by 65 runs also helped boost the morale. (We spent most of the afternoon in the back yard throwing a ball to each other.)

I felt a little sad that he was no longer going to be part of this great team but realised that it was the end of one chapter and the start of a new exciting one. We read many stories in the Bible of how change was a normal part of life.

My aim through this transition is to provide my son with the love and support he will come to rely on as he tries to find his place in the new school and sports teams. What more can a parent do?

Please pray for us during this difficult phase.

God Bless
Mark

Time flies...

2009-11-22T14:06:00.000+02:00

A few weeks ago I was saying good night to my daughter and during the conversation it came up that she had 4 years and 1 term of school left!!

Well this hit me right between the eyes because I suddenly realised how little time I still had to "influence" her in a positive way before she became an adult.

My prayer for us as parents is that we don't let time slip by and miss out on teaching our kid's how to be Christ followers...

Do you remember me Dad?

2009-07-14T13:43:00.000+02:00

I spent a wonderful weekend with a good friend of mine, who moved away a few years ago, to further his career. It was a great time to reminisce and also to catch up on the news of the family.

His son and mine are the best of friends and enjoyed spending time being boys. They rode rip-sticks, skateboards & bicycles. They played soccer, climbed trees, chatted about school, swopped soccer cards, and played 30 seconds. It was so great to hear the laughter of good friends enjoying each others company.
The mystery of their friendship is that they had not seen each other for 15 months but managed to pick up where they left off like it was yesterday. Another mystery is that they NEVER fight. It's a little wierd but that's the truth. My wife and I often comment on the fact that they

While my friend and I were chatting, he shared his concern over losing touch with his children. Work seems to have crept into every part of his day and he feels like the children are slipping away as they grow older.
I sometimes wonder if God doesn't feel like that but in reverse. We tend to stray away from our heavenly father and I think, like my friend, He longs to be with His children.

It dawned on me during the weekend that our children are growing up so quickly and before we know it they will be leaving our home to start lives of their own. It saddens me to think that we could miss out on the best part of our lives, because our careers take precedence.

In previous posts, I have alluded to the fact that all our children need is us! Come on Dad's, let's give our children what they need most...our time.

Dad's - Pack away the computers & briefcases. Get on a skateboard or bike and go for a ride, or kick a ball around the yard. Bake some biscuits or put some beads on a string. Try it you may even like it!!

I challenge you to review your priorities and set your goals as a father on being the best God wants you to be for your children.

Blessings
Mark

The greatest gift.

2009-06-15T09:53:00.000+02:00

"The greatest gift a father can give to his children is himself."

Article: Rising to the Challenge of Christian Fatherhood

2009-04-07T08:00:00.001+02:00

Another interesting article found on CROSSWALK.COM by Rick Johnson

http://www.crosswalk.com/1396893/

Article: What does the Bible say about Christian fathers?

2009-04-07T07:58:00.000+02:00

Read this interesting article found at GOTQUESTIONS.ORG

http://www.gotquestions.org/fathers-Christian.html

The T.T.T.P. Challenge!

2009-04-02T10:34:00.004+02:00

Hello Dad's

Over the past 8 weeks we have been studying the book of James in our fellowship/cell/bible study groups. Each week we have covered a section of scripture and then dived head first into the study material, often with our heads held low because we have realised how short we fall of God's expectation.

However God is a father of grace and He forgives our stumbling and bumbling as we try and grow in Christ!

Some of the topics we have covered include; Trials, Temptation, The Tongue, and Patience.

Over the next few posts I hope to expand on these 4 topics in a father to child manner, in the hopes that I will be able to pass these teachings onto my children as well as to the kid's I interact with at our Children's Church.

God Bless
Mark

Got it!

2009-03-05T13:35:00.003+02:00

Often we are too busy with our own stuff to notice our kids' level of spiritual understanding. How often do we drop what we are doing to share a father/child moment that could ultimately lead to them making a committment to being Jesus' forever friend?

Last night as I was putting my son to bed, he noticed a passage of scripture written on an old piece of scrap paper lying on his bedside table. The passage was 1 Timothy 6:11-16. He immediately took out his CEV children's bible. (He proudly informed me that 1 Timothy was a book in the new testament.) WOW!

He then proceeded to read it out loud to me.

"11 Timothy, you belong to God, so keep away from all these evil things. Try your best to please God and to be like him. Be faithful, loving, dependable, and gentle. 12 Fight a good fight for the faith and claim eternal life. God offered it to you when you clearly told about your faith, while so many people listened. 13 Now I ask you to make a promise. Make it in the presence of God, who gives life to all, and in the presence of Jesus Christ, who openly told Pontius Pilate about his faith. 14 Promise to obey completely and fully all that you have been told until our Lord Jesus Christ returns. 15 The glorious God is the only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords. At the time that God has already decided, he will send Jesus Christ back again. 16 Only God lives forever! And he lives in light that no one can come near. No human has ever seen God or ever can see him. God will be honored, and his power will last forever. Amen."

What struck me the most was that after I had explained the meaning of some of the "big" words, he said that he understood what God was trying to say. He understood that we will go through some times when things are not so great but with God on our side we would be OK! He also understood that God loves us so much that he wants us to be good and kind.
I asked him if he was cool with what Gods word had said to us and he answered; GOT IT!

How profound is that from an 11 year old.

I left his room a proud father.

God Bless
Mark

Sandruff

2009-01-12T10:06:00.002+02:00

Hello Dad's

Last week I had to take a trip up the coast on business and because my family were on leave (Yep some of us still had to work) I decided that it would be great if they joined me.

We chose possibly the hottest day of the year to travel, but when duty calls you have to go. The trip there was uneventful and rather pleasant due to the early morning and air conditioning. We listened to music and chatted about various things. This was a great family time where we were "forced" to be in the same space for an extended period of time without distractions like TV.

Once my business commitments had been completed we decided to pop down to the beach to stick our toes in the water, but much to our dismay the wind was howling. Oh did I mention that it was also blistering hot? We joked about frying eggs on car bonnets but decided that they would either be blown away or be overcooked. Anyway we attempted to make it from the car park down to the water. Well we made it as far as the line where grass meets sand and decided that we did not want to lose several layers of skin in the sandblasting machine. Yep the wind was blowing so hard that the beach sand became rather mobile.

Anyway you may be asking what this has to do with the title of this post!
On our way home we were all discussing the events of the morning and digging sand out of all sorts of weird places, when my daughter looked over at my son and said: "You have Sandruff". With that we all packed up laughing and continued the journey with interspersed patches of laughter.

All in all it was a great day to share special moments as a family and in the process enjoy laughing at ourselves.

This is the type of stuff that kids remember. `We went to the beach with Mom & Dad and got Sandruff.`

God Bless
Mark

Responsibility

2009-01-05T10:24:00.003+02:00

Good morning all you great parents.

It seems like a decade since the last post. Apologies for the long lay off!

I was reading a daily devotional, which I receive by email each morning, and the passage of scripture for today was from Proverbs 1 verses 8-19, which read (CEV):

"8 My child, obey the teachings of your parents,

9 and wear their teachings as you would a lovely hat or a pretty necklace.

10 Don't be tempted by sinners or listen

11 when they say, "Come on! Let's gang up and kill somebody, just for the fun of it!

12 They're well and healthy now, but we'll finish them off once and for all.

13 We'll take their valuables and fill our homes with stolen goods.

14 If you join our gang, you'll get your share."

15 Don't follow anyone like that or do what they do.

16 They are in a big hurry to commit some crime, perhaps even murder.

17 They are like a bird that sees the bait, but ignores the trap.

18 They gang up to murder someone, but they are the victims.

19 The wealth you get from crime robs you of your life."

This got me thinking about how we prepare our kid's to take on the "responsibilties" of living in the world. We hear all too often of children who are caught up in the nonsense of worldly things and end up, either dead, addicted to some drug or another, or running with the wrong "gang".

The bible clearly warns us of the consequences of getting caught up in with the wrong group.

As parents we fear what our kid's are getting up to when they are out of site with their friends. We need to take action and educate our children on what the bible says and then committ them to the Lord in prayer.

Unfortunately we can't be with them all the time but we can equip them with good biblical grounding to know the difference between right and wrong as well as the courage to say NO!

I pray that God will protect our children from Satan's evil schemes and that they will come to know Jesus as their personal saviour.

Below is a prayer that came with the morning devotional email, which I think is worth sharing, courtesy of Bible.com:

"Dear Lord, thank you for all the godly parents who are attempting to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.? Give them Your Wisdom as they guide their children and lead them in Your ways. Cause their children to submit to their leadership and to obey them, thus saving these children from many heartaches and suffering in this life. Lord, heal the parent/children relationship breaches and put it in the children's hearts to submit unto their parents. Cause the parents to be patient and loving toward their children. Give us all love one for another in our homes and in our church families as well. In the name of your son, Jesus, I pray, Amen"

God Bless

Mark

To My Father

2008-11-14T08:09:00.002+02:00

This morning as I was looking through a pile of papers, I found a bookmark given to me by my kid's one fathers day many years ago. I would like to share it with you as we go into another weekend.

For everyone upon this earth
God made a father who
Would watch with tender, loving care
His family as it grew

A father to protect his child
From goblins in the night
With comforting assurances
And hugs so very tight

To teach his child what's
right and wrong
And work that must be done,
to share each great adventure
With laughter, tears and fun

Yes, God, in his great wisdom
Looked down from heaven above
And made a father for each child
To cherish and to love.

Anonymous

Have a blessed weekend and enjoy spending time with your kid's!!

God Bless
Mark

We are being watched!!

2008-11-12T13:05:00.003+02:00

Dear Dad's

I have just finished watching a really cool video from GodTube about how our children are watching everything we do (I have embedded it here for you to view as well). All too often we are so busy that we don't realise that they are observing our every move. Children model their lives around what they observe and we are their life mentors!!

Our actions MUST be consistent with our words. I know that this is a difficult task and we will make mistakes along the way but my appeal to all of us is to remain vigilant in our task to teach our kid's about God by the way we act or react to our daily situations.

In my devotion a few days ago, the passage of scripture from Deuteronomy 11:18-21 was:

18 Memorize these laws and think about them. Write down copies and tie them to your wrists and your foreheads to help you obey them.
19 Teach them to your children. Talk about them all the time--whether you're at home or walking along the road or going to bed at night, or getting up in the morning.
20 Write them on the door frames of your homes and on your town gates.
21 Then you and your descendants will live a long time in the land that the LORD promised your ancestors. Your families will live there as long as the sky is above the earth.

This reminded me of our responsibility to pass on God's laws and teachings to our children. What better way to do this than to LIVE our faith everyday.

I am of the opinion that our kid's should see us reading the bible and praying. Not in a false way but in true reverence for our God and Saviour!

Come on dad's, let's take up the challenge to show our kid's how God wants them to live.

Delme - Thanks for the Video!!

God Bless
Mark

Ice Cream

2008-10-26T15:48:00.004+02:00

Oh dear, when we get it wrong we sure do make a real mess of it - don't we dad's!!!!

You may be asking what does this guy means by that. Well, as fathers we often get it wrong.

Parenting is a duanting task and we often make mistakes. Fathers are faced with many pressures, (not that mothers have it any easier, in fact I believe they often filter or sort out a lot of the problems before we, as fathers, get to see or hear about them) specifically in the workplace. Pressures like ensuring that we provide for our family whilst not neglecting them at the same time are a reality. The world demands it's pound of flesh from us.

Last week I got it horribly wrong with my kid's and had to swallow my pride and ask forgiveness. God is a gracious God and he teaches us that forgiving someone is a Christ-like thing to do. He also teaches us that we must ask forgiveness for our transgressions (Matthew 6:12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.)

It is quite humbling to have to approach your child, who you have hurt and ask them for forgiveness. BUT God has given us a powerful tool to smooth over the stormy waters and cool the tempers.

ICE CREAM ----- What a wonderful desert.

I took them for an ice cream cone and over this simple desert we had time to reflect on what had transpired and I was able to teach them about the power of forgiveness. I was also able to learn more about the happenings in their little (yet extremely complicated) lives.

To both of my children, Kayleigh & Stuart, please forgive me for not being the perfect father.
I will always love you no matter what.

All my love
Dad

The Most Important 15 Minutes Of Your Child’s Day - An article by Kurt Drees

2008-09-18T09:08:00.000+02:00

Dear fathers

Here is a great article written by Kurt Drees, who is the Operations Manager of Heritage Builders (http://www.heritagebuilders.com). I found it extremely useful and will definately be trying out some of his ideas!!

"There were two things that I've felt guilty about since becoming a dad 8 years ago. They overshadowed most of the joy that a dad was supposed to have. They made me feel angry, then guilty most days. You probably fight it too if you have young children. The two battles are: fighting to get the kids to bed and feeling guilty that I was not growing closer with my kids.

But six months ago I stumbled across something that would change my family's life forever. The discovery would overcome both of these frustrations. Was I too stubborn not to see it before?

Here's how the story unfolds:

Bedtime was a power struggle. The kids would push; I would push. I would yell; they would yell. They would get angry; I would get angry. All I wanted was to get them to go to sleep -- Was that asking too much? The sooner they got to sleep, the sooner I could get on with the loose ends from my day (work, TV, internet, etc.).

I'd hear constant excuse after excuse about needing a drink, being scared, needing to go to the bathroom, or hearing noises. They would come out of their room - I would yell to get them back into bed. I don't remember my parents yelling so much. My parents had it figured out -- Why was it so hard for me to figure it out?

Yes, the kids eventually went to bed feeling worn out, angry, and sad. Yet I was glad to be rid of them for the day! Why did my kids have to act like this?! Why did I have to act like this?! It wasn't my fault …was it?

The next night, it seemed that God guided me down a different path -- a quieter, peaceful, more loving path. Yes, this night I had succumbed to something that I told myself I would never do -- I'd lay down with each of them for 15 minutes. They both grinned, thinking that finally I had acquiesced.

I initiated this new experience with my 7 year old. At the start of his 15 minutes, I asked if he wanted to turn the light off and try and go to sleep, or perhaps read a book, or listen to a CD. Of course he didn't choose the first option; he choose the "read a book" option. I asked him if he wanted to read his dinosaur book or read through this new book God's Great News for Children. He went with the new book. We read a chapter about how Mary found out that she had a baby growing in her belly, and how her and Joseph were looking for a place to have baby Jesus. At the end of the 15 minutes, I said that his time was up and that I needed to get his older brother to bed. After he checked the clock to make sure I didn't cheat him of any minutes, he wanted to have what he coined the "Grand Finale Hug" - a big bear hug dotted with tickles. So far my experiment was working great. We had fun, we learned Biblical Truth and we grew together rather than apart. So far this experiment was working!

Next up was my more difficult 8 year old. He was anxiously waiting his 15 minutes of "Dad laying down with me" time. As I rub his little back, I ask "What did you do today that was the most fun?" This gets him talking about things that he encountered in his day -- things I wouldn't have normally known about. After several minutes, he winds down and I give him a big hug and say, "I sure love this kid!" while I give him a good tickle. He laughs hesitantly, knowing that his 15 minutes are almost over. Wanting to extend the 15 minutes, he starts talking and opening up more and more -- asking things like:

"Can God see me right now?"

"Can people in heaven see us now?"

"How old were you when you first really liked a girl?"

All these questions presented an opportunity to become intentional in sharing Biblical Truth with my little "built-in" disciple. A soul that God had entrusted to me to teach God's Great Truths. I need to be careful though, because the instant that it sounds like I'm trying to tell him to do something, he stops listening. So instead I tell him the lesson or principle that I learned when I had similar questions like he had. I can almost hear his mind absorbing the Truth.

As our 15 minutes come to an end, I verbalize a prayer that finishes with telling God how thankful I am that "I have such a great son." I tell my son that it is now my bedtime and give him a bone crushing body hug. As I leave the room, he says "Dad, I'm not tired. I don't want to go to sleep." Then I think God spoke through me because I'm sure not smart enough to come up with this response -- I say "Son, you don't have to sleep right now, but you do need to be in your bed with the light off. You can go to sleep whenever you want to as long as I don't hear or see you anymore tonight. I'm tired and I'm done watching kids for the day. Good night! I love you buddy."

Did he have a comeback? I don't know for sure because I kept on walking to my room.

That night, I walked upstairs a blessed dad. Bedtime was enjoyable. I shared a little bit of Truth with my kids. I grew closer with them. There were no bedtime fights. No yelling. No hurt feelings. The peace of God was so strong that there was no room for anger.

This routine has continued everyday for the last 180 days. Bedtime is no longer a power struggle, and I am growing closer to my boys everyday. My prayers have been answered -- I'm being used by God to impact my kids.

Thanks for allowing me to share this story with you! I pray you will benefit from my experience. Would you begin the process of becoming intentional with your kids tonight?

Heritage Builders to put together a kit that contains items that I've used while turning my bedtime war into a peaceful, blessed time. Incorporating some of the tips in the article will be the best gift that a dad can give his family."

The Gift!

2008-09-01T16:29:00.001+02:00

What do we do when we receive a gift?

Some of us react with great excitement and admire the gift.
Some of us accept the gift with subdued enthusiasm.
Some of us take it and place it to one side.
Some of us ignore the gift.

What is your reaction to the gift of children?

God gives us the gift of children (Psalm 127:3 Children are a blessing and a gift from the LORD.)

How we react to this gift will ultimately show in the way we nurture and cherish it.

Children need two basic things from their father:

LOVE

Lots and lots of it!
Come on Dad's give your kids a hug.

A SENSE OF BELONGING

Fathers need to acknowledge their children by becoming part of their lives.
Praise them when they do well and guide them when they deviate from the truth.

May God guide us in our mission to be the best fathers we possibly can be.

What does God expect of us as fathers?

2008-08-15T12:18:00.001+02:00

What does God expect of us as fathers? This is a question I have asked myself many times over.
We are taught how to conceive children, how to birth them, and how to clothe & feed them. What we are not taught is how to be good parents. There are many "parenting manuals" out there. They are all filled with great ideas but all too often we are overwhelmed with all the information they contain. I hope to break it down into 5 simple areas, which will act as the starting point of becoming a good father.

The bible is quite clear on our responsibilities. We are to be honest and do what is right (Proverbs 20:7 Children are fortunate if they have a father who is honest and does what is right.) We are to be an example to our children, as God is to His son Jesus. A father must show unconditional love to his children. (1Corinthians 13:13 Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love. )

How can we show love in practical ways?
1) Take time to be with your children. Spend this time really listening to what they have to say. Do stuff they enjoy!
2) Encourage them in all they do. Be it on the sports field, the classroom, with their hobbies... children appreciate you being interested in them.
3) Teach them about bible truths. This can be achieved through one-on-one conversations, around the dinner table, or even at bed-time. Keep it simple and relate it to their everyday situations.
4) Show them how to live as Christ followers by being an example. You must practice what you preach!!
5) Comfort them when life seems to be against them. God gave us arms for hugging, laps for them to sit on, and shoulders for them to cry on. Use them!

Above all be honest and Jesus will shine through you for your children to see.

Welcome

2008-08-12T08:26:00.000+02:00

I would like to welcome you to my blog.

I am a father of two awesome children, a daughter and a son.

The purpose of this blog is to share ideas and thoughts around what it means, and takes, to be a good Christlike father.

I hope to post practical experiences I've had with my children, and those that I interact with in our Children's Church. By doing this I hope that it will help other fathers out there who are trying to raise their children the right way, Gods way!

The bible says in Proverbs 22:6 - "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it."

This often seems like an impossible task as life throws it's curve-balls at us. We, as fathers, have to contend with many things out there that influence how our children think and act. Television is possibly the biggest influencer along with peer pressure from friends at school.

We have such a short time in which to guide our children and as such we must make the most of it while we can. According to George Barna (a renowned statistician) the likelihood of committing your life to Jesus decreases dramatically after the age of 12!!
His conclusion is that: "If people do not embrace Jesus Christ as their Saviour before they reach their teenage years, their chance of doing so at all is slim."

Come on fathers, let's band together and support each other in our earthly duty to lead our children to Jesus!

God Bless
Mark